We all do things we regret. It’s a part of life and something that makes all of us human. Anybody who goes through life without making a single mistake is most definitely not a real person. Maybe a robot? Which, in 2018, is a little scary since that doesn’t feel too far off.
I digress. The point here is that we all mess up and the only way we can get over it is to share with the internet where it shall live on eternally!
Here are 15 people who live with absolutely hilarious regret.
The person who tried to trim their eyebrows with beard shears.
“So I recently got my hair done after letting it get away from me for the past 3 years. I felt amazing and sexy and the compliments from my husband was the cherry on top. Feeling all the excitement and the new found self esteem, I figured why not get my caterpillar eyebrows up to speed,” reddit user lucky_lola wrote.
But she wasn’t that lucky…
“I always use my little hair trimmer when shaping my brows, but it seems to have disappeared in the recent move. Then I get the brilliant idea to use my husbands beard trimmer. I put the smallest attachment on and run it over one eyebrow…. looks perfect. I move onto the next eyebrow and the attachment falls off as I am running it through. No biggie. I put it back on and return to the eyebrow, only to find my poor eyebrow is gone. Just like that. That little second of trimming took it away in one sweep.
Mortified, I panic. I quickly attempt to draw it back on. The difference is undeniable. I begin to freak even more. What if I trim my existent eyebrow with scissors? Nope. Looks even worse. With my anxiety and mind running rapidly, I give in and just shave the other off.”
The person who left their robot vacuum on long enough for a stinky surprise.
“Ran the robot vacuum cleaner and it cleaned the floors with dog feces for a nice scented house to come home to after work,” reddit user Erik5858 wrote.
Yikes. That is not something you want to come home to.
The person who will always check email attachments from now on…
This is honestly my worst nightmare.
“I found a perfect job and filled in the application, before sending off a blank copy. Woman in charge of choosing lets me know gently that I’m an idiot that doesn’t know how to apply for jobs,” wrote werthersun0riginal.
On the bright side, at least you know it’ll never happen again!
The person who should’ve just said “New phone, who dis?”
“I didn’t ask an unsaved number who they were, had a conversation and then the person purchased me a concert ticket thinking I was somebody else. After I explained the miscommunication, the person still expects me to go to the concert.”
This is an actual nightmare, but also if it was Beyoncé then totally worth it.
The person who needs to learn the lyrics to “Peanut butter Jelly Time”.
Which, yes, is not something you would think you would need to know. But heed this person’s warning!
“This happened when I was in the 3rd grade, I was around 8 years old at the time.
After school, there would be this program that would be held in the Cafeteria after school. You would go there, do your homework, they would give you a snack and hold an activity or something.
Anyways, one day, I went up to the main coordinator, asking her to check my work (they would often help you with homework) and as she was checking it I started to get chatty with her. I liked talking to the coordinators a lot. I don’t know how or why I said this, but something slipped out of my mouth. This was around the time ‘Peanut Butter Jelly Time’ was popular with kids at my school, and since I wasn’t 100% perfect with interpreting lyrics, I thought the line ‘Peanut Butter Jelly with a baseball bat’ was actually ‘He hit me in the belly with a baseball bat’. I was softly whispering the song to myself while I was sitting next to her, waiting for her to finish checking my work, and when I said that line, it was just loud enough for her to drop what she was doing and interrogate me. ‘Who did?’ and after that I snapped back to reality and realized what I just said. I told her ‘nobody’ in a snappy response. She was not happy. She sternly said to me ‘Y’know, even if you’re playing around with me, I’m going to have to report that’. Me being a naive 8 year old boy, didn’t understand what that really meant, and I went along my business the rest of the day.
The next day, I went home on the bus after school (they didn’t hold the program on Tuesdays and Thursdays) and I came home to my mom and my brother sitting on the couch waiting for me to get home.
Needless to say, I found out that the lady actually went ahead and reported what I said, and that CPS was planning on scheduling an interview within the next week to see whether or not I should be removed from the household. We eventually managed to nullify this, proving that my family didn’t abuse me, but I was grounded for a month following this.”
The person who will never try to live spontaneously ever again.
“[I] thought it would be a fun idea to sneak into my school just out of curiosity…my mom ended up getting call from the police and I now have to go in for an interview,” wrote tanuki-robot on reddit.
So much for living on the edge!
The person who tried to prank their mom and it backfired terribly.
Here’s a thought: don’t ever try to prank your mom!
“A novelty scratch off made me curse my mom because there were apparently different versions of the fake winning lottery,” kaptinkracker wrote. This particular lottery card had a very crude message waiting for the person that received it.
The person who left tupperware in their oven.
This is a major “WHOOPS!”
“[I stored] my plastic Tupperware in my oven. My cat accidentally turned it on and the plastic caught on fire!”
Dang cats…always starting trouble.
The person who just stood in a sprinkler for no reason.
“[I] stood in [the] sprinkler and didn’t notice then dropped [my] keys in a bin and dove after them.”
They prefaced the story with saying that it was early in the morning, but still.
The person who had to get surgery because they told their friend to do something stupid.
“Told friend to throw a lime at me, it hit me in the eye and I needed surgery to fix it,” wrote awwman32.
There’s so much wrong with this scenario. Moral of the story: don’t tell your friends to throw things at your eyeballs.
The person who probably won’t squat while holding hot coffee anymore.
“Popped a squat to drink my coffee, lost my balance, spilled it all over myself and a strange piece of machinery while pulling a muscle in my shoulder.”
I’m all about multi-tasking but this is too much.
The person who should’ve cleaned up after themselves.
“[I] spilled laundry detergent on the floor, left it for 24 hours, and it ate the finish off the vinyl floor,” wrote blackdynomitesnewbag.
This could’ve bene very avoidable and yet here we are.
The person who will never babysit kids again.
“Babysitting next door neighbors kids, decided to play fetch. Kids get on zip line [and] hit me in face. I lose a couple teeth.”
Basically the main thing you don’t want to happen when babysitting.
The guy who got pepper sprayed.
Hey, at least the guy knows that he was a complete idiot. Here it is:
“So about 2.5 years ago, junior year of college, I started to get into shape. I wanted to get into running and always found the hobby to be a cool idea. So I got into it and starting running around my neighborhood and around my college. There are a lot of parks and trails in this area because of the location. I have never been good at keeping a pace I always go to hard to fast in the beginning and would tire myself out early on.
Well one day I am in the park just starting to run when I see this person who happens to be female running ahead of me. I am ecstatic because her pace is exactly what I want. So I follow her. I figured if I kept up with her I could get used to a good pace. I was not thinking at all. It is approaching sunset and we are both deep into this park. It has been 15 or 10 minutes and she starts to take some weird routes, and I think, ‘WOW. This is cool I have never taken these trails before this is so cool.’ I am still right behind her. This goes on for another 5 minutes until she turned around and yelled ‘STOP FOLLOWING ME!’ Then she opens up her pepper spray and douses me in it. Boy did that hurt for what felt like ever. I never got to explain my self cause she ran off and I somehow, through a miracle, made it back to my apartment and took care of myself.
I know I was an idiot looking back on it and I 100% deserved that.”
Yep. Also, ouch.
The person who got into a fight with a bug and lost.
“I saw this bug on the wall that had been harassing me earlier as I was eating my tea. I decided that this bug needed to die for its crimes so I did a running jump and tried to squash it.
I then landed on my right ankle and it bent completely sideways. I heard a loud cracking sound and then began swearing loudly. My mum came running in and blamed my stepdad who seemed to think I was faking it.
Well I’m sitting at home now and I’m pretty sure I just fractured my ankle. My stepdad was trying to make me walk on it before I left and then I had to use it to drive home. Unless I pay for it- I’ll have to wait until morning to see my doctor.
It hurts and I feel stupid. I didn’t even kill the bug,” reddit user KitaShika recounted.
Bug – 1. Kita Shika – 0.